Hair Dye, Hair Gel, Contacts, Oh My!
by PushRightThrough
Summary: When Jack Spicer shows up to get a wu with his natural look - meaning no hair dye, hair gel, or red contacts - hilarity will ensue as no one will even recognize him anymore.


**A/N: I know this is different from what I normally do, but I'm so psyched that my childhood came back that I had to do this fanfiction. It's been a work in progress for the longest time, but I finally finished it and I am really pleased.**

**This is set sometime during Xiaolin Chronicles, even though I included some aspects from Xiaolin Showdown. I guess Wuya (still a ghost, by the way) ditched him at some point for Hannibal or something in the world of this story. The Medusa Torch is a completely made up wu, and I don't know the new name for the Shard of Lightning so I just went with the old one. Now on to the story!**

**Disclaimer~ I do not own Xiaolin Showdown or Xiaolin Chronicles. Otherwise, Raikim would be canon by now.**

* * *

Nearly seven weeks. A month and a half. Forty-five days. That's how long it's been since the last shen gong wu went active. But who's counting?

I'll tell you who. Jack Spicer, evil boy genius! At least, that's the title he preferred...for now. One day, it would change to Dark Ruler of the World.

The pale teen sat slumped over on his desk. He barely had any shen gong wu left, save for the Monkey Spear and the Shard of Lightning. The Xiaolin losers had nearly all the rest and Chase, Shadow, and Hannibal- now partnered up with Wuya -had a couple in case of an emergency, respectively. But since no new shen gong wu had revealed itself, Jack couldn't get any more, and he was bored out of his mind since he hadn't gotten his butt kicked recently. Not that he wanted his butt to get kicked, but he needed something to do. He was even considering raiding the Temple, but we all know how that turned out nearly each time.

With nothing to do, he started doing nothing and was starting to get lazy. He didn't build any new robots and he definitely wasn't going out anymore. Not even to buy pudding. All he would do is play Goo Zombies 5.

The worst part would be that he was too lazy to even go out and buy his hair dye. That's right, his hair color wasn't natural. He actually had jet black hair, but unlike Chase and Kimiko, it was so black that it nearly seemed like a unique shade of indigo. In the six to seven weeks he had stayed home, he hadn't applied any dye or hair gel, resulting in his hair to be like an indigo mop. After all, he needn't go outside so what would be the point? It didn't seem like a shen gong wu would be revealing itself anytime soon so he wouldn't have to show his face.

That's why he was completely caught off guard when his shen gong wu detect-o-bot started beeping randomly. He had been in the shower at that time, so he shrieked in a not at all manly way, his first thought being someone (*cough* Megan *cough*) had walked in on him. When he realized it was just his device, he rushed to get out, dry, and moisturize himself. And no, it is not weird for a guy to moisturize himself.

He threw on his usual attire, and scrambled to find his red contacts to put in his onyx eyes. As he did, a thought crossed his mind.

_Is there any part of me that isn't fake?_

Grimacing at the thought, he finally found them. As he took out the box, he went to the mirror over the sink. He took the right contact out of the box, but as he was about to dab it into his eye, a crash resounded outside the bathroom door, startling him, and making him drop the contact down the drain. He shrieked when he saw it fall, but what made it worse was that the next thing he knew, another crash sounded out, and this one made the house shake. As it shook, the little box holding the contacts fell out of Jack's hand, and the left contact also went down the drain. Shaking with anger, Jack opened the door of the bathroom and screamed. He stomped down to his parent's basem- excuse me, his lair.

"JACKBOTS!" he shouted. "WHAT IN THE DEVIL'S NAME IS GOING ON?"

Imagine his surprise when there was only one Jackbot left in the room, surrounded by a whole bunch of fallen robot parts.

"They started it," the robot said in its robot voice before pulling out an arm and pushing his own self-destruct button.

"NOOO!" Jack shrieked, but it was too late. The last Jackbot exploded. Jack whispered, "You were all I had left."

After a very quick mourning session, he decided to simply call for back up instead of showing up defenseless.

"Hello?" a voice purred on the other end of his phone after just one ring.

"Ashley? It's Jack," he said.

There was a groan.

"What do you want? And I told you, it's Katnappe."

"Whatever. I was just wondering if we could hang out. You know, just two evil buddies getting to know each other and hey! Maybe we could possibly stop by for some shen gong wu?"

"Let me guess: Wuya already dumped you and is off with Hannibal, Chase doesn't want a pest like you around and he already has that new girl, you don't want Cyclops have you give him another sponge bath, and Vlad is back in Russia."

"Pfft...no."

"What's in it for me?"

"...Free kitten-sitting for a day while you enjoy yourself at the spa? My treat?"

"Two days?"

"...FINE."

"Purrrr-fect. Be there in five minutes."

With that, Jack hung up. He looked quickly in the mirror to make sure he was ready and nearly shrieked at his appearance.

His black indigo-like hair was down, not sticking up. One of the thicker strands fell in front of his face covering one eye. The other eye that could be seen was pitch black. He looked like an emo reject.

"I can't let them see me like this!" he screeched, before running off in a frenzy all over his (parent's) house.

He looked in every last corner of the house to find some hair dye, or at the very least, hair gel, but to no avail. He didn't even have spare contacts to hide his eyes. Luckily, his eye power wasn't that much, and he could see clearly enough without them. It would have been embarrassing to show up in his huge glasses.

"Deep breathes. No one will care," he muttered to himself. He gulped. "I hope."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, causing him to emit another ear-splitting shriek. When he realized it was just Katnappe, he strutted over to the door and opened it, leaning back and trying to look cool.

"Hey," he said, raising the eyebrow that wasn't covered with hair.

The blonde girl in the full leather bodysuit seemed surprised.

"Well look what the cat dragged in," she purred. "Who are you? Jack's cousin or something?"

"It's Jack!" he said. "Do I really look that different?"

"Yes!" Katnappe snapped. "What happened?"

"Long story," Jack huffed. "Just get in the craft."

* * *

They flew to a more remote part of the Caribbeans. They both got down on the sandy beach and started to look around.

"So, what's the wu?" Katnappe said, breaking the silence.

"The Medusa Torch," Jack said. "Allows the user to shoot beams that turn your opponent to stone temporarily."

They were about to resume their search, when just then, there was a strong wind as a dragon with golden scales landed and five monks jumped off.

"Katnappe!" Kimiko said. "What brings you to the party?"

"Yeah, and who's the goth freak?" Raimundo piped in.

"And where's that no good hombre, Jack Spicer?" Clay said.

"Jeez, what's with all the questions?" Katnappe said.

"And by the way, I'm that goth freak!" Jack replied, sounding very offended. "Me, JACK SPICER, EVIL BOY GENIUS!"

The five stared at him. It was Raimundo who fell to the ground laughing first. Kimiko and Clay followed. Meanwhile, Omi and Ping-Pong continued staring down the boy who claimed to be Jack, looking completely bewildered.

"I am most confused," Omi said, eyebrows scrunched. "You, honorable stranger, look nothing like Jack."

"Brother Omi is right," Ping-Pong squeaked. "Jack Spicer has red hair that sticks up and blood red eyes. You have indigo hair like a mop and black eyes. You are not Jack."

"Honestly, who are you?" Omi said. He suddenly got excited and started bouncing up and down. "Do you wish to join the on-going battle against evil?"

"I _am_ Jack!" Jack whined. "And no way am I going to fight for the good side. I want to rule the whole world!"

Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay got up, having calmed down, but they still had goofy smiles on their faces.

"Oh, it's Jack all right," Kimiko said.

"Every annoying part of him," Raimundo followed up.

"But what happened to him?" Ping Pong asked, clutching the hem of Clay's vest.

"Well, partner," Clay said. "He probably forgot to go buy some hair dye and hair gel, and his contacts are lost. The Jack that we know is as fake as a rodeo clown at a little kid's birthday party."

"Enough chat-chit!" Omi exclaimed when he finally understood the truth.

"Chit-chat," Raimundo muttered. "Although I don't know why I even bother anymore."

"Whatever!" Omi said. "It's time to fight!"

"You said it, pipsqueak," Jack said. "Katnappe, attack!"

"Uh, you don't tell me what to do!" Katnappe said, crossing her arms.

"Is now really the time?" Jack groaned.

"Since you can't respect me, I'll just leave!" Katnappe said.

She huffed as she jumped into Jack's flight craft and flew off.

"WHAT!?" Jack shrieked. He yelled after her, "BUT THAT'S MY RIDE HOME!"

"WHATEVER!" she shouted behind her.

Jack nervously turned back to the monks that were waiting for him with smirks on their faces.

"Normally we have to break a sweat before we get the wu," Clay said. "But I guess not today."

Jack's eyes widened as he started to back away in fear. "C'mon, we're all friends, right guys?"

"Who is _that_?" a deep voice said.

The Xiaolin warriors turned to see Chase Young with Shadow right behind him, standing on a rock near the shore where the waves kept coming up. It would have been a beautiful sight if not for the demonic lizard lord standing in the way with his apprentice.

"SERIOUSLY?! YOU DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME?!" Jack screamed.

"Sorry, I can't say we've met," Chase replied.

Shadow stared at him. Jack gave her a hopeful look, but even she shook her head after a few moments.

"OH COME ON!" he shouted.

"It's Jack Spicer," Kimiko said, stifling a giggle.

Chase Young arched an eyebrow perfectly. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise."

"Yes," Shadow said. "I don't suppose he'll put up much of a fight, so we can snatch the wu and leave soon."

"He may not put up much of a fight," Omi said. "But we will!"

"Yeah, and I thought you had no use for shen gong wu," Clay said. "So what in tarnation are you doing here?"

"I don't," Chase said, looking bored. "But this is Shadow's...exam, you can say. Fight you lot and get me the Medusa Torch. Who knows? It might be handy to have after all."

The monks looked at Chase with suspicion. Jack took that time to turn around and run for it...right into Hannibal Roy Bean in his robot body. He hadn't even gone twenty five meters.

"Well, what do we have here?" Wuya's voice cackled from next to Hannibal from her ghostly floating mask. "A new warrior? Sure hope he's better than Jack."

"Seems like it," Hannibal said in his thick Southern accent which was slightly amplified due to the robot. "What's your name, boy?"

"NOT YOU TWO!" Jack screamed, giving away his location. All the heads on the beach turned to stare at him. "I. AM. JACK."

"Please, I worked with Jack for a long time," Wuya said. "That bumbling idiot wasn't able to tie his own shoelaces, let alone get here."

"I built a device!" Jack said defensively.

"Okay, it's Jack," Wuya said without any hesitation.

"What's with the look, lad?" Hannibal said.

"I was a lazy idiot," Jack said. He whimpered. "Please don't kill me!"

By this time, everyone, and I mean everyone, had circled around him. Even Chase, and usually he would standby and watch. Jack gulped as he quietly counted the heads. Nine if you counted Wuya, but she couldn't do much harm to him. The worst she could probably do is go through him...wait, he took that last comment back. That floating through thing was seriously uncomfortable. It felt like some of his organs where switching places.

He looked over Ping-Pong's head to see Dojo sunbathing on the beach. Nobody had even noticed when the sneaky little dragon had left. Dojo seemed like he wasn't watching, but he obviously was from the corner of his eye.

Jack gulped. This would not end well.

* * *

It did not end well.

After the Xiaolin monks won the Medusa Torch, Dojo was kind enough to drop him off home, but he literally dropped him from the sky to his front yard. Jack had limped home, taken a warm shower to sooth his aching muscles, applied some medicinal lotion to his rapidly color changing bruises, and was now in some black cotton pajamas. He was relaxing on his sofa under a comfy blanket, and had to alternate between hot water bags and ice packs every fifteen minutes. Every now and then, he would drift off to sleep but wake up soon due to the burning pain.

Jack Spicer was not a happy camper.

When he finally was able to get into a relaxing, long needed nap, the doorbell rang. Jack woke up and freaked out as he started screaming hysterically in a really high-pitched voice.

"THEY'RE BACK! THEY'RE BACK!"

"Spicer, it's just me!" a feminine voice shouted.

"Kimiko?"

"Yep," she said as she knocked down the door with a kick and entered his lair.

He screamed again. Jack was pretty surprised that he actually hadn't lost his voice with all the shouting and screaming he had done all day.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" he shrieked. "DON'T YOU THINK I'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY?! MY BLACK EYES SHOULD SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES! THAT'S RIGHT, EYES! AS IN BOTH OF THEM!"

"Relax!" Kimiko said. "I just felt really bad about how you were treated today so I came over to give you something."

Jack looked dumbfounded. When he didn't say anything Kimiko continued.

"I don't use my assortment of hair products anymore, so I brought you all the hair gel and red hair dye I had left over."

She handed him a small white bag that Jack hadn't noticed before, and sure enough, there were two cans of hair gel and one of red hair dye. Kimiko continued talking about how she had some tips if he wanted, but he couldn't hear a word she said. He was taken over by emotion. He got up quickly and hugged her, cutting her off.

"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!" he exclaimed.

"Ew! Let go of me!" she said, pushing him off. "You're still my enemy! I just did this because I'm the good guy, and I felt bad!"

Jack nodded.

"But thanks so much!" he said. "I'll never forget this."

"I'm sure you never will," Kimiko said under her breath. However, Jack didn't hear. "I'll see myself out."

With that, she left.

* * *

Kimiko leaped over the high wall, officially out of the Spicer residence. A Brazilian boy was waiting for her on the other side.

"Did he fall for it?" the Xiaolin Dragon of Wind asked enthusiastically the moment he saw her.

"Hook, line, and sinker!" she replied. "Jack Spicer will have bubble gum pink hair for a long time."

* * *

**A/N: So, there it was! Thanks so much for reading this. Please follow, favorite, and review!**


End file.
